I am being one of “those mom’s”. We are at the park and the boys are playing. Instead of watching them and their every little move I am writing a blog post on my laptop. It isn't that I don’t care or that I have better things to do- it is that I have spent every moment with them for the last 6 weeks. I know all their tricks. I have seen them go down the slide a thousand times over the years. And everyone needs a break sometimes.
So I am sitting under a huge tree listening to the music of children laughing and playing. It really is a beautiful evening. A lot has changed over the last few weeks. The biggest is that my best friend has moved over 11 hours away from me. I am officially alone. I have casual friends that I do animal rescue with and I talk to my boys teachers but I do not have ‘that person’. I can no longer run next door when something is wrong or to share a joke. I am alone.
In a few months we will be moving to our next home and I will start the process of making friends again. I cannot count the number of friends who have come and gone in my life. It is just part of being in the military. We always promise to stay in touch and to visit the next time we are in the same state but it really doesn’t happen. Life goes on and we change. We fill the holes they left in our lives with someone new. It doesn’t mean those friends were less special. It just means life goes on.
I do not see this hole being filled. She knew nothing of our M/s life but she always understood when I said I needed to ask Sir before I bought something. She never questioned me making His plate or any of the other things I do for Him. She also understood why I fell in love with her two little girls. Those girls are like my own and I had to watch them drive away yesterday after they gave me hugs and called me “Mamma XXX”
So today there is a huge hole in my heart where the other half of my family should be. After three years of being one big happy family we have been torn apart by the military cuts and I am a little lost.