Mouse over at The Power Exchange used a word in her post that summed up how I feel.
Adrift.
So simple but complete havoc on my mind. With Him gone I find myself just floating through the days.
No purpose.
No guidance.
No drive.
The house is a mess. The yard needs to be prepared for winter. I have to get ready to move. And yet, I am not marking anything off of the to do list. I really just need Him to walk through the door at the end of the day. I need to know He approves of my hard work and get that little smile and words of praise.
I am such a bad slave.
I should do things because it is what He expects of me. Not for the praise.
Your not a bad slave at all lol, i think its normal to want praise, but my Master is of the mind it should not be expected....but that does not stop me hoping for it, because i want to know im being pleasing.
ReplyDeleteHowever when he does say he is pleased with me, or words to that effect, it means all the more because its meant, i think it would lose its importance/value if it was said too often....does that make sense?
x
It makes complete sense. He doesn't say "good job" often but I can always tell when He is happy with me. I miss that. I miss knowing He will be home to see all my hard work - even if I don't get a pat on the back.
DeleteAw hon. You are not a bad slave! It is SO hard when they are away. Be proud of yourself, which I can almost guarantee that he is as well, for making it through each day during this deployment. Praise is important to all subs. It doesn't make a bad sub at all - I promise! Big hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteWe are about halfway and it always gets hard around this time. I just have to get past this and start looking forward to Him coming home.
The last half always seems to be the hardest. Are you keeping track on a calendar or anything? That used to help me in some odd way .. crossing off each day. :)
DeleteHang in there hon, and I'm here in the meantime to help however I can. :)
I keep up on a calendar too.
DeleteI am doing alright. It has just been a hard couple of weeks.
:)
Good. :)
DeleteAnd I understand. Just wanted you to know you have someone out here in this crazy world who relates and is here for a laugh, talk or anything else if you ever should want/need it. :)