Something you have to forgive yourself for.
I have to forgive myself for something that was completely
out of my control- 5 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. So many babies came
into our lives only to be taken before we were able to hold them. I did nothing
wrong but my heart does not know this.
We are blessed to have D and A and I thank God every day for
them.
I can understand where you are on this.
ReplyDeleteWhen logic tells you that these things just happen sometimes but your heart silently continues to feel that if you wanted it enough, or if you did enough, you could have made them stay.
It's not a fair way to feel, but I think every Mom who has been through this understands that it is still there in the background. I don't know how long ago these occurred, but I can tell you that for me, it has gotten easier over time. I don't feel defective like I used to.
Feeling defective is soul crushing, I didn't realize that I don't feel that way anymore. Thank you for your post.
XOXO Pearl
(I actually wrote a post re: our loss and just never shared/posted it. Thank you again for the honest post.)