Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Adrift

Mouse over at The Power Exchange used a word in her post that summed up how I feel.

Adrift.

So simple but complete havoc on my mind. With Him gone I find myself just floating through the days.

No purpose.
No guidance.
No drive.

The house is a mess. The yard needs to be prepared for winter. I have to get ready to move. And yet, I am not marking anything off of the to do list. I really just need Him to walk through the door at the end of the day. I need to know He approves of my hard work and get that little smile and words of praise.

I am such a bad slave.

I should do things because it is what He expects of me. Not for the praise.

7 comments:

  1. Your not a bad slave at all lol, i think its normal to want praise, but my Master is of the mind it should not be expected....but that does not stop me hoping for it, because i want to know im being pleasing.

    However when he does say he is pleased with me, or words to that effect, it means all the more because its meant, i think it would lose its importance/value if it was said too often....does that make sense?

    x

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    1. It makes complete sense. He doesn't say "good job" often but I can always tell when He is happy with me. I miss that. I miss knowing He will be home to see all my hard work - even if I don't get a pat on the back.

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  2. Aw hon. You are not a bad slave! It is SO hard when they are away. Be proud of yourself, which I can almost guarantee that he is as well, for making it through each day during this deployment. Praise is important to all subs. It doesn't make a bad sub at all - I promise! Big hugs!

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    1. Thank you.

      We are about halfway and it always gets hard around this time. I just have to get past this and start looking forward to Him coming home.

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    2. The last half always seems to be the hardest. Are you keeping track on a calendar or anything? That used to help me in some odd way .. crossing off each day. :)

      Hang in there hon, and I'm here in the meantime to help however I can. :)

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    3. I keep up on a calendar too.

      I am doing alright. It has just been a hard couple of weeks.

      :)

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    4. Good. :)

      And I understand. Just wanted you to know you have someone out here in this crazy world who relates and is here for a laugh, talk or anything else if you ever should want/need it. :)

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