His New Toy...

He bought it a while back, but with my surgery and His training schedule it was pushed to the back of the collection. Plus, it really did not look like something I would be very happy about. Ass hooks are not pretty. They do not look comfortable. And honestly I dislike trying out new toys. I like to stay with our tried and true toys.

I was less than happy when He decided to try it out right before He left for training. He ran the cold chain and hook over my body and I tried to get away. It felt like it had been in the freezer. (It hadn't - our room is just really really cold all the time.) Once He warmed it up on my body He inserted the hook for the first time and connected it to my play collar with the chain. It really wasn't bad. It is actually more comfortable than many of the plugs we own except for the fact that it is connected to my collar.

I like to hide my head in the bed. And to have a blindfold on. And to play in the dark. He doesn't.

With the hook and chain He achieved one of His biggest goals. I could not hide. I had to keep my head up or face the uncomfortable consequences. He enjoyed it of course....and actually I did too.

On a side note. 

I really hate the way I look. I have weight to loose. I am glow in the dark white. My ass is too big. I have had two kids and all the stretchmarks to prove it. 

Every time He sends me a picture to post I cringe a little bit. It is very hard to look at them and it is terrifying to post them online for everyone to see. Tonight I actually found myself liking my curves. Yes, I have weight to loose but I look pretty good.   :)

Maybe His plans are working. 

The Beginning

Today is the beginning of our time apart. Thankfully it is just a warm up and He will be home in a week, but within the month my Master will be gone until the Spring. Time apart is hard for me. I depend on Him for so many things and I hate doing things alone. He is my world.

No matter how hard this year will be I know it will bring us closer together. We communicate so much better when we are apart. We email and text our thoughts and feelings. We break down all the walls. We talk about dreams and fantasies. We work through fears. He helps make me a stronger person and my submission grows with everyday that passes. We have done this before and I know we will do it again. Deployment is not about us being apart but about how we come together when He returns to me.

He's Not Yours

I keep seeing submissives and slaves addressing every dominate male they meet as "Sir" or "Master".  It is all over fet and recently it has become a huge problem in our private lives. Two separate women who talk to my Master through text, emails, and occasional phone calls have decided to call Him "Sir". I knew about the girls and I am confident that He was only interested in talking with them as friends.  The first "Yes Master" was originally just a slip - or that is what they called it - but it never stopped. They wanted to talk to him at strange times and tried to move their relationship with my Sir to a long distance D/s relationship. He quickly ended the friendships.  I don't want to sound petty or silly but my Master is not anyone else's "Sir" or "Master". We have a closed relationship. He is my only Master and I am his only slave. Simple as that.

Also, why would anyone address another person as "Master" if that person has not earned that tittle or trust? How can they just jump from one dom to another and think that is the same as our 24/7 relationship? I really think some people need to get a little self respect.

Maybe???

I wonder how much trouble I would get in?? 

Golden Showers and Submission

I have no idea why this post is so difficult. I have been working on it for several days but nothing seems to sound right to really express the way I feel about it.

He has been including Golden Showers into our nightly routine. At first I was a little unsure about them. It seemed like He would be the only one getting anything out of it and it just added one more thing to my schedule. The first night wasn't anything special for me. He had been reading about GS and found the idea of them exciting. He told me what He wanted to do and I kind of dismissed it. He has a lot of ideas and I just added it to the 'someday' list. The first night He had me stand in the shower and He peed on me from my waist down. I did it for Him. I did not get anything out of it but I could tell that He was very moved by it.

The next night I kneeled in the shower at His feet. I sat quietly, looking down at the bottom of the bath tub, waiting for Him to finish so I could continue my shower. Then I felt His hand on the back of my Head. He was softly petting me- A gentle and loving caress that I always melt into. I looked up and saw such love in His eyes. This time as He relieved Himself across my body I felt a connection to Him. I felt loved, and submissive. I knew I was His on such a deep level. Then He helped me stand up and handed my body wash to me.

Every night since then He has had me kneel at His feet. It has become part of our nightly routine. Every time I feel the same way: Loved, Owned, Cherished.

Tattoo

My submission has been growing and changing over the last few months. I started this blog as a way to work through my thoughts and connect with others who understand what it is like to be a slave. I have never had a place to just talk about the 'real' us. We keep so much hidden from the world it can be exhausting. Very few people in real life knows who we are and that is the way it really has to stay.

He has been working on a tattoo for me since a collar is really not practical for us at this time. A simple little mark to show the world that I am owned. I am sure that people outside of the O/P world will not know what it means. It is just a bunch of numbers and a few words in another language but it will mean so much to us.

Chores

The last few days have been wonderful. He has been home working on the chore list. It really isn't a long list but some of the simple little tasks keep becoming difficult and complicated. I found a wonderful new light for the boys' bathroom. Changing out the light should be a five minute job for him- It is simple compared to some of the electrical work he does for the military.

Of course it can not go the way He planned. The old light came down and instead of a electrical box the builders just had an empty hole. We are lucky the original light did not fall down. So He went to the store, bought supplies, and fixed the issue. The new light is amazing but it took about 2 hours. He was not happy.

Something New

We returned from our camping trip on Sunday exhausted. It is wonderful getting away from everything and spoiling our children. We went on a tour of the Caverns, hiked, and watched the boys play on the playground. It was wonderful. We took the boys to the river to play before packing up camp and heading home. They LOVED floating down the river with us and we stayed a lot longer than we had planned.

Once home, after the long drive, we had to unpack and get everything ready for our week which took forever. We finally had some alone time late that night while taking our shower. He has mentioned 'water-sports' off and on for the last couple of weeks. Not a real conversation about it, just little off comments that only a slave would pick up on. I knew what was coming.

Sunday during the shower He decided that we would 'start slow'. He had me face Him and then I felt his warm piss run down my legs. He slowly turned me around until He was relieving himself across my ass.  He was rock hard when He finished and He quickly came. He told me that it was one of the most fulfilling things He has ever done. I am sure we will be trying it again in the near future. My only problem was that I did not get a lot out of it. Maybe it was the position we were in or the fact that I was not really expecting Him to try it so soon. I think it needs to be more ritualistic for me. A way for me to kneel before him and worship the wonderful Master that I have. Who knows?  I did go to bed feeling very frustrated since it had been four days since I had been allowed to cum. The joys of being a slave.

Sad

The time seems to be flying by.

He leaves in just a couple of weeks and I am not ready.