Monday, December 29, 2014

Daddy

It is the end of December. We are getting closer to Him coming home - Just a few more weeks. A while back we started talking about how using the title Master or Sir just did not fit our relationship anymore. He is my world. He is loving and caring and likes to make me smile. We are not about protocol or rituals (we do have some though). We are about love, and structure, and Him providing for me.

It has become more clear to us the more we have talked during this deployment. I have found that I like calling him Daddy. It isn't as weird as I thought it would be. I like Him taking care of me and the new title just shows how much He really does for me. I know everything may change when He comes home. We have not tried any of this in person. 

A few days ago He told me to take a nap. I was exhausted and have not slept much since He left. It was wonderful. I actually slept for 3 hours and woke up feeling great. I didn't wake up with guilt over not doing anything. I didn't worry about not finishing my chores. I just took a nap, like a child, because He told me to. It was a huge eye opener.

I worry about when He comes home and we try this in person. I am afraid it will sound silly or make me giggle. Or even worse - not work for Him the way it does for me. I know the overall structure of our relationship will not change. I know He will always provide for me. I know He will always be the leader of our relationship but what if He decides He wants more protocol. What if He wants a true "slave" with all the rules and restrictions? I really like the way the DD/lg is building and I don't think I want to go back.

The distance is really starting to wear me down. I have lots of time alone to think about things that I would never question if He was home. Oh well...Just a few more weeks. 

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear he will be home soon. I am sure you will figure out what is comfortable once you are back together. Wishing him a safe return!

    ~faithful

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