Rocks and Boys

We have two boys. They are already very "manly" in their young ages (11 and 5) and I am usually so very proud of them. They open doors for women and pick up trash when they see it. They always have something nice to say to their friends and never shy away from hard work. They really are on the right path. My Mother In Law gave me a lot of advice after the birth of our first son. Most of it revolved around me being a horrible Mom and her needing to raise D for us. But....there was this one piece of advice that has helped me through the years.

No matter what I do, they will always grow up to be a man. I just get to help decide if they will be a good man or a bad man. But they will still be a man in the end.

She said it with a sick hatred of men but her words have stuck with me for all these years. Tonight, as I was sitting in the ER with A, her words kept flowing through my mind.

A decided on Friday to EAT A ROCK?!? Why would he do that? He didn't tell me that was what was wrong with him until last night. He has had stomach problems since Friday but in his 5 year old mind, the two things were not connected. So today we spent 5 hours in the ER trying to get XRays and the all clear. Thankfully the rock passed through him but it did a lot of damage to his system. He has inflammation and such throughout his digestive system which is making him miserable. The Dr was wonderful and decided to tell A, in great detail, what happens if a rock gets stuck in his stomach. He described the surgery and every cut and pull they would have to make in order to reach a rock way down in his tummy. By the time the Dr was done, A was apologizing and promising to never eat anything ever again. I really like that ER doc.

I am having a really hard time having sympathy for him. I mean really, HE ATE A ROCK! I don't normally feel sorry for stupidity but he is my baby.

So, as I was sitting in the ER listening to the Dr scare the crap out of my son, I thought about what kind of man he is going to become. His future isn't looking too good today.

Pieces

Sometimes  the person the world sees is so different from the person I really am. We live in a world full of harsh judgmental people who like to tear down every one around them. For this reason I appear to be a strong, independent woman who can take on the world. I don't let others know when things bother me and I don't ask for help. My family would never put the words submissive and Me in the same sentence. The schools have learned to fear me and the pediatricians usually don't like me.

I am ok with this.

Dinner with my family proved to me how much they do not know about me. My Mom kept going on about how independent I am. How wonderful it is that I don't *Need* my husband and can stand on my own two feet. My baby sister kept talking about this club or that club that she just had to take me too. How we should go out and drink together without the husbands.

I don't feel independent. I actually feel like a crazy person when He is gone. I just keep going because He wants me too. And I would NEVER go partying or drinking without Him. I have not gone out like that without Him since I was 18. It would not happen. Not because He would not allow it, but because I find it disrespectful to Him. Alcohol and crowds make people do stupid things. I don't personally like stupidity.

I find myself feeling lonely. So few people actually know me. And even less know me as a Pet and a Mom and everything else that makes me who I am. I think that is why I like my Blog so much. I am just Me - Like it or not. I can put all of the separate pieces together and not worry about what the world thinks.

Feeling a Little Old

This week A and D both have their birthdays - A is 5 and D is 11. Where did the time go?

It seems like yesterday when D was a baby and we were lost new parents just trying to make ends meet. We were lucky to have each other and Sir was determined to give us a good life. He joined the military shortly after D needed surgery and we had to pay out of pocket. It was like we didn't really grow up until He signed on that line.

Our lifestyle isn't always easy with two loud boys running around and we rarely get a night out alone. Maybe when He comes home we will be able to have a date night or two. I can not imagine our lives without them but I really do like to have time with just Him. (I am a little selfish that way.)  Our boys are growing into strong young men and I see their dad in them more and more every day. D wants to join the military and be EOD like His Dad. He made this decision several years ago. Everything he does seems to be working to that goal. A just wants to be a super hero....Its kinda the same thing.

Another Wonderful Gift

He really does spoil me. I received another gift from Him recently. It took a while for it to arrive but I love my custom ears and tail. They are so soft and fluffy. I can not wait for Him to come home so we can play with them.

I did wear my ears for Halloween while I shuttled the kids from house to house. It was nice to have a little part of our life actually mix with our public life. It does not happen often. We are already talking about ordering another set in a fox red with black tips just for fun.